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An invitation to conduct a painting demonstration, yay! … or yikes! 

It was flattering, a compliment, yet it came with a flood of feelings and questions. My first instinct was to say yes, but then a weird thing happened. Every (potential) reason to say no crossed my mind, things like nervousness, fear of speaking and painting in front of a crowd, not good enough, potential what if this happens life events that might create a need to cancel. Why was I talking myself out of this opportunity?

I waited until after the entire experience to write this, I wanted to absorb everything from beginning to end, including the few days of reflection after my demonstration. 

The first hurdle was sticking with the initial instinct to accept the gracious invitation. Life happens with or without us, so why not make plans, why not take risks and do the things that challenge us, scare us, make us grow or fail, because growth will happen. We need to take risks if we expect to become the best versions of ourselves.

I checked off all the boxes: preparation, supplies, practice runs, timing (never enough), business cards, donation artwork, explanation of colors and process, the oil paper I was working with, samples, rule of thirds, placement sketch, darks and lights, warm and cool, everything, so I thought.

The best part was not what I expected. It wasn’t the painting, it was the people. Their interest, curiosity, and questions were so welcoming: “What color are you using? Does the paper handle a palette knife? Why not use Prussian blue? Do the oil paints dry faster on paper? When not demonstrating do you paint more details?”

Then a question I wasn’t prepared for. In a brief period of silence she said, “What are you thinking at this moment?” I was nervous, in a zone, doing all the things I planned for. I hadn’t planned for this caring, frank, cut to the heart of the matter question. I freaked out inside, I think I tried to make a joke, self deprivation. I was humbled, wanted to turn around and say, “Great question.” I wanted to say, “I was developing the underpainting stage, slowly building the painting like I love to do as the magic happens and the painting comes alive. But this part is personal, not a technique but a feeling, normally happening in my private art space so I never give it much thought, thank you for asking. How do you explain a feeling? … wow, what a freeing sensation.” That is what I should have said!

Thankfully there was a chance to talk with everyone afterwards. They shared their portfolios and their own personal fears. They shared recent artworks from their phones. There were more questions about oil paints and substrate materials to paint on. It was an opportunity to share the story of my mom’s visit, when she asked me which artwork I thought was my best. I said, “I haven’t painted it yet.” If it means the journey ends then I hope I never do. It was an opportunity for encouragement on all levels. It was an opportunity to give back.

demonstration

finished in the studio

I will always look back at my painting demonstration as a risk I took, and not as a regret for not having done it. It is an experience I will never forget. I think they did more for me than I did for them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Rachelle Lima